If you are anything like me, you probably find yourself constantly:
Doubting over your own choices.
Fretting over other people’s reactions to your thoughts/opinions.
Wondering if you have to explain yourself for fear of being mis-understood.
So, today…I am going to share some tips and tricks to help us stop worrying about what people think, filter out the bad vibes and begin living in the freedom of our own authenticity!
You ready?
Are People’s Opinions Holding You Back?
Worrying about what other people think about us is, after all, a normal part of our DNA. We are organically programmed to seek out the approval of others. I know, bogus, right?!
There is actually a weird reward center in our brain that gets activated when we’re given a compliment. We literally get a hit of the feel-good hormones when other people take notice of our work, our outfit, our smile…you get the picture. This explains so much, especially, since my love language is words (insert face palm emoji here).
Bottom line is, we physically feel better when we feel accepted.
Now, we know we can’t be the good guy in everybody’s story, but that is where things get a little sticky. Cuz, when we start pivoting our mood, our dress, our words, our lifestyle to fit other people’s expectations, not only do we give our power away, but the world loses out on the beauty and magic that can only come from us being exactly, authentically, who we really & truly are.
So, How Do I Stop Caring?
Ok guys, this is where we gotta pause and dig into the shadows a bit. We have to ask ourselves a very important question, “Have I started to believe in other people’s version of who I am?”
For me, this absolutely became the case. I got totally lost in the opinions, feelings and expectations of those around me. So much so, I completely forgot who Joey even was.
Here are some of the actionable steps I took to embrace my authentic self, shake off the noise around me and begin to live freely, fearlessly and with open arms:
1. Focus on What’s Important
You are not responsible for how others feel or what they think, neither can you change any of it.
We can literally make ourselves sick worrying about something we have zero control over.
Instead, channel that energy into something productive. Learn a new skill, take up a class, pick up an old hobby…just immerse yourself in something that lights up your spirit so much, you don’t even care 😊
2. Highlight Your Accomplishments
It doesn’t have to be anything grandiose, elaborate or exciting (though it can be that too). Could be as easy as paying a bill, marking something off the to-do list, prepping your lunch box, scheduling that thing. Whatever it is, be proud of yourself and celebrate the accomplishment!
3. Train Yourself to See the Positive
Complaining, blaming, and dwelling are all choices we make to swim in our own sorrow. I don’t know about you guys, but there are much bluer waters with my name on them…so this kinda thinking stops today!
We can train our thoughts to be more positive and as a result become less anxious and more resilient. Write down a list of five things you love about yourself and begin to use those things as a flaming sword against the army of negativity storming your castle.
And finally, duuuuude….
4. Take Care of Yourself
Relaxation techniques are becoming popular because people are realizing the importance of self-care. These perceived indulgences (massage, yoga, aromatherapy, breathing techniques), are directly aimed at reducing stress levels and improving our overall health.
The great thing about them is that we can do them anywhere. Whenever we start to worry, fret or feel ourselves beginning to boil from the inside…we need to stop, take a few deep breaths and focus in. Center your thoughts on an object around you: your coffee mug, a cloud, and your nails. Anything that can steer your thoughts to the present moment and get us out of our own head.
Then, lo and behold, you will begin to notice that your pulse is slowing down and so is your heart rate. Your anxiety will start to recede and you’ll realize whatever others have to say is of no consequence to your vision, style or purpose.
It is time for us to stop apologizing, stop trying to fit in, stop masking who we really are…especially for the sake of a simple dopamine hit. Get out there and rock the unique brew that makes you, YOU.
With Love,
Joey
Jo Badger is a career strategist, passionate encourager, holistic wellness coach and aromatherapist with a heart for women in transition. Jo has served around the world helping people discover their joy and the courage it takes to pursue it.
On the weekends you can find her and Dixie Dog soaking in the rays by the water, exploring some backroad somewhere or enjoying coffee and a book on the porch of their tiny home, somewhere in the woods of Central Florida.