I wonder how many people are reading this expecting a juicy tell-all, lol.
Funny, how quick we are to join someone else in their soul-spilling, but would rather attend a root canal sales tool convention than have that same conversation with ourselves.
I know, that was me too...and trust me, I am fully aware of how challenging, nay, freaking excruciating, this process can be. During my last little fit, I acted out for 3 weeks straight. My inner child was OVER IT!
Buuuut...every single time I get asked “how”…
How did you rebuild?
How did you recover?
How did you heal?
How did you lose the weight?
How did you improve your situation?
I have to be honest. Step 1 on all of those journeys, let alone a total personal transformation, was/IS getting honest. Getting honest with myself about where I was, what I actually wanted, and exactly what it was going to take to make a change.
If you really are serious about fixing yourself, if you’re serious about up-leveling/re-adjusting or making changes in your life, then honesty has to be the main vein. It has to be the driving force in every conversation, because it's the key to moving beyond your current circumstances and into the life you want.
I mean, if we can’t be honest with ourselves, what kind of life are we really building anyway?
When we choose to see only what we want to see (aka put our head in the sand), we are actually choosing dishonesty, denial and delusion. What kind of bricks are those to use in this rebuild? What kind of warranty comes with that crap?
Oooook, let’s pretend that doesn’t sound so bad to you. Here’s a truth bomb for ya…
It’s generally the things we prefer to avoid that actually need our attention the most.
Let that sink in.
Self-honesty is the key to creating permanent and sustainable changes in our lives. Here are 5 tips I discovered to making this shaky growth process, just a little bit smoother (and way more effective:
1. Grab a journal & make it a cool one
After all it is your own voice that you're capturing, might as well give it a neat place to live. This journal is where those conversations get captured and refined and rebutted and replaced with new, powerful and positive building blocks.
Let this become your power tool, your wand, your sword, your wardrobe in the spare oom (love me some Narnia), your window into a whole new world…you get it, make it count!
2. Make an Appointment with Yourself
You, are the boss of YOU (read that again), so call a meeting. Seriously, schedule in some time each day, morning or night (in the middle our thoughts are just too frazzled). Take a few minutes to reflect on the day or the one before it. How did it go? How did you do? What did you do well? What would you do differently?
Be honest, not critical or self-loathing, that’s no way to build ourselves up. This is about reflecting on the day in order to make tomorrow a better one. Reflection helps you learn about yourself, recognize problem areas and identify new solutions.
2. Acknowledge The Good, The Bad & The Ugly
Gratitude is always a good way to sandwich a sentence. Take a moment to be grateful for all the good things in your life, even if you have to dig for them. Like the fact that you have a device where you can read this article or a pen to take notes or a chair to sit in. Sometimes, we just have to start wherever we are.
Then, take a second to recognize those things that you KNOW need your attention. Ignoring them doesn’t make them go away, it creates avalanches that could have been prevented. Even if you don’t know what to do about them (especially, if you don’t know what to do), take your power back by at least acknowledging their existence in your life.
Finally, go deep. What is the point of all this honesty if we aren’t going to let ourselves get to the heart of the matter. Take note of those inner most thoughts, no matter how colorful. That is your spirit giving you something to work with.
3. We All Screw Up
True confidence lies in the ability to own our own shhh…stuff. When we can stand up to our own mistakes, that is where real growth and healing come from. Humble yourself...at least WITH yourself and allow yourself the opportunity to course correct. Ok, so that happened…let’s learn and move on.
4. Get Lost in Your Feelz
When people say they’re caught up in their feelings it’s usually used in a negative connotation. Yet, your emotions have an important role to play in how you understand and interact with the world. Emotions aren’t the reality, but they sure are revealing.
When you dig deep to figure out why you feel a certain way, you’re learning about the things that tend to make you feel that way. More importantly, you’re learning how to manage and respond appropriately. This is a level of honesty that your stress levels (and social circle) will much appreciate.
5. Don’t Overthink It
As noted above, it’s important to take time for reflection and analyze the day. However, it’s equally as important that you don’t over-analyze. It’s super easy to get carried away and overthink every little thing. Allowing time for this spiral of thought will make you crazy. Do yourself a favor and just be matter of fact. You don’t need to rationalize everything or intellectualize about it.
There’s no need to create an elaborate story about why bad things have happened/do happen/keep happening to you. You need only to note how it is right now and set your sights forward.
Congratulations! Now that you have a good heartfelt, set of personal data, this is where the cool work can begin. Just remember, honesty is the best policy…always ;)
With Love, Joey
Jo Badger is a career strategist, passionate encourager, holistic wellness coach and aromatherapist with a heart for women in transition. Jo has served around the world helping people discover their joy and the courage it takes to pursue it.
On the weekends you can find her and Dixie Dog soaking in the rays by the water, exploring some backroad somewhere or enjoying coffee and a book on the porch of their tiny home, somewhere in the woods of Central Florida.