Jun 29, 2018
I have been thinking a lot lately of my masks. I have come to this realization. I think we are mothers,sisters,friends,Aunts,daughters,wives, grandmother's, and employees. We convince ourselves this is the sum of who we are and we are content. The reality is these are but roles we have where we contribute and impact other's lives and bring them support and joy. This makes us happy . We spend all of our waking moments full filling, planning, and looking forward to doing them again. We are happy content , useful, and leading a worthy life. Then every once in awhile in the twilight of a moment you remember that you yourself are a person. This is may not seem like a revolutionary idea till you ask the questions you stay busy to avoid. Am I enough, do the people around me see me or just the rolls I play, Am I truly happy not just satisfied and content but truly happy with me? Why do I hide and bury myself in bring joy to others ( yes this makes me very happy) and not be able to find the joy In myself. Which begs the questions what does make me happy, what do I like to do just for me.,what feeds my soul ,how or do I even have the strength to face my fears and insecurities to find true self? Ok we tell ourselves let's find us do more for ourselves let's make this plan work. Then the twilight begins to fade and the dawn of a new day is here and as quickly as my revaluation came it flees back to the deepest depths of my being and I again find my joy in the happiness of others. Let's face those questions are hard the answer ugly and so very raw and painful. It's so much easier to let them slumber. Then to battle them and in time make peace with them. So let's just not what more could you want anyway. This project in its essence says wake up and smell the coffee. Yes you are content, but God wants so much more for you!! The world is waiting for you. You do have place in it. True unimaginable happiness is waiting for you. Your village is filled with tribal members just like me and we will learn to lean on one another while we battle our darkest most raw selves. We will lead each other to the blazing light of a new more complete self. Together we can do this for alone we never would have the strength. So today I straighten my crown and find myself ready to build new bonds of friendship and battle the darkness with my warrior tribe. So we may find ourselves again.