• thenicolekay

Fear No More

With the new position I took for my career, I drive about an hour each way to arrive at my destination. While some may think that's one heck of a commute and mundane, I find the beauty in spending this time evaluating life and doing some soul searching. Lately, I've been assessing my life for what it was in 2018, how 2019 began and where I want the remainder of the year to go. In this space, I take full mental note on the actions that need to be captured.

As we have discussed in previous posts, 2018 brought a ton of change. Life did a complete 180, or a huge PIVOT as Ross would say. And lets just say there were some really crappy, messed up situations that had me full of anxiety, all as a result of fear. What was my life going to look like? Been with the same guy for 8 years, now I'm single. Do I even know how to be alone? Been a part time mom for my children's entire life, now I'm a full time mom, do I even know how to be a great mom? I've lived with someone, whether that be family, a roommate or a partner, my entire life, do I know how to live in my own space? See all those questions ran through my mind, causing angst of not being successful in this thing we call life. That being said, what I didn't allow was for fear to detour the action that was needed for a successful transition.



As I pushed forward, I experienced all the ups and downs. You might as well put me on The Hulk at Universal and tell me to hold on. I felt the fear creep in from time to time, causing me to second guess every decision I had made. I knew that fear, disappointment, and struggle would always be a part of life. However, I also knew that through the beauty in which I hoped this next journey would bring, I was brave enough to tackle the road blocks that would come at me.


"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Fear can be down right brutal. When I find myself in this space, I completely shut down. My body closes in, my eyes drop in sadness and my voice becomes soft. The fear literally takes over me. It wasn't until recently that I was able to identify the emotion and find the solutions to resolve the feeling. One thing is certain, fear is not a reality. It's an emotion on the "what ifs". So if you find yourself in such angst, I suggest trying to following tips.


1. Words of Affirmation - promote self love within yourself. Convince yourself that the fear is typically not the reality. Tell yourself the exact opposite of what you are afraid of. Example; "Nicole, stop. This is all going to work out. The universe if on your side."


2. Get Outside - spend some time in the open air. It's been psychologically proven that any form of exercise produces endorphins which bring only positive vibes.


3. Meditate & Manifest - be one with yourself. If your mind is to scrambled, try a guided meditation first. Think about what you want and continuously vision the positive light.


4. Talk It Out - find that one friend who supports you that you can vent out these fears and frustrations. Choose wisely my grasshoppers. Make sure your support systems understands YOU.

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It's okay to feel the fear. We are human. I am sure that many historical inventors were fearful that their greatest creations would be failures. Everyone will experience fear throughout their life. It's more about what to do when it creeps in on your soul. You've got this! I hope that you all have a sense of peace, that you all get to experience great joy, that you all are brave enough to be you. Besides courage is not the absence of fear, it's about knowing your path is more important than the fear itself.

With Love ~ Nicole

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